A Pulsing Feeling
by patsymountxdeliabusby
Summary: Starts at just before Delia moves in. Going to be a mixture of fluff and smut. Alternate chapters for Delia/Patsy's view points. Hope you enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

Patsy clutched the photo of Delia close to her chest, it was hard to believe that in just mere hours she would be back for good. The thought of Delia and her finally being able to live together was all Patsy had thought about during the past weeks nursing duties. Patsy peered down at the picture one last time and then laid it back into it's spot in her box. The box was something she'd started at the camp, it was full of her most prised possessions. In it was a small note book with pressed leaves and animals from the camp, a broken pocket mirror that was her mothers and three pictures.

All three pictures were of Delia and each were used for very different purposes. Her favourite of the three, the one of both Delia and her together, was used for comfort when she felt down. The second, a picture of Delia in her nursing uniform, Patsy used to comfort the loss she felt when she couldn't see Delia. The final picture was one that turned Patsy's cheeks scarlet and left a pulsing feeling in her underwear, it was of Delia in a very tight and revealing leotard. The final picture was often used when Trixie was on call and Patsy had the room to herself. Patsy's eye caught a glimpse of Delia in the leotard and she began to giggle, she remembered showing Delia it when she came at Christmas time, and watching her go bright red hearing the reply Patsy gave when Delia asked what she needed such a picture for. The ballsy Welshwoman seemed to be taken back at what Patsy seemed to be implying, but later that evening disclosed that she often had dreams that she woke up from feeling rather flustered.

The knocked on the door to Trixie's and Patsy's room broke her train of thoughts, and she slid the box back under her bed. Taking a moment to readjust herself, she called out "Come in!" It was at that, that Sister Mary-Cynthia's head popped round the door with a look of urgency. She took a moment to smile at Patsy and then uttered "Nurse Mount, sorry to interrupt, your lady has gone into labour and your needed." Patsy thanked her and she left, returning to her own room. Patsy couldn't help but sigh, she had really hoped she would be home for when Delia arrived but it was looking more and more likely that she wouldn't be. Patsy pulled on her uniform, pinned her hair up and headed downstairs. Grabbing her bag with her sterilised equipment she marched towards the bike shed. Straddling the seat she pushed off and was finally on her way to the expectant mother.


	2. Chapter 2

Delia cautiously climbed out of the taxi, picked up her luggage, paid and thanked the driver. Lifting the two heavy suitcases her mam had insisted on her bringing and her box of books, she made for the front door of Nonnatus House. Delia was petrified. The thought of living so close to Patsy was wonderful, but Delia couldn't help but panic about being caught out. Delia knew she wouldn't be able to always control herself emotionally and physically around Patsy, and she wasn't sure Patsy would be able to either. With one final anxiety ridden step, Delia reached the front door. She'd been to Nonnatus House plenty of times before but this was completely different, this time Delia would be entering her new home. Delia waited one second more before wrapped upon the door, a few short moments later and Sister Mary-Cynthia had pulled open the door and ushered Delia in.

Delia stood awkwardly waiting for some direction as of where to go. Almost sensing Delia's panic Sister Mary-Cynthia offered some reassurance "I'm afraid Nurse Mount was called out early this morning, she should be back sometime soon…If you follow me I'll take you to get settled in." Delia smiled and placed one of the large suitcases down in the hallway to collect later. Delia had always liked Cynthia, and she was glad it was her that was there to welcome her in Patsy's absence.

Just as the conversation between Delia and Sister Mary-Cynthia began to flow more naturally, the door of Nonnatus House clicked open and someone returned home. Delia stood wishing for the sound of the footsteps to be Patsy's. The door to Delia's room flung open and Patsy stood in the door way. Delia felt her cheeks burned as she gazed into Patsy's eyes, her mouth twisted into a grin and she managed to push out the words "Hello Pats…" Patsy's stood and stared for a few seconds more before registering what Delia had said and the company that they had in the room "Oh..I saw your stuff in the hallway, I thought you might need some help settling in." Patsy flushed as she glanced up and down Delia and then looked past her to Sister Mary-Cynthia. Sister Mary-Cynthia smiled and then made her excuse to exit.

Finally alone Delia flung her arms around Patsy and covered her face with lots of tiny kisses, Patsy smirked and pulled Delia in close. Delia couldn't believe it, she was finally here with her sweetheart. Delia moved the clutter that was covering her bed and sat down indicating for Patsy to do the same. Once Patsy was perched next to her Delia made her move. She slid her hand up Patsy's arm and round the back of her neck and pulled her closer, leaning in she began to place kisses upon Patsy's neck. Patsy let out a small moan which sent shivers down Delia's spine, it had been ages since she had heard her lover call out like that. Patsy pushed Delia away and jokingly gave her a chastising look, "Nurse Busby! Control yourself, what if someone were to walk in? You can't go making me feel like that to not finish…" Patsy trailed off as if realising what she had just admitted. Delia smiled and slid her hand just up and under the hem of Patsy's dress, watching Patsy shiver Delia replied "Well Nurse Mount, you'll just have to hold on until later then" and winked at her. Rising off the bed Delia heard Patsy sigh and felt a prang of pride at her ability to turn Patsy on. Leaning against the chest of draws in the corner of her room she turned to face Patsy, "Come on then! I thought you were helping me pack away..?" Patsy grinned and stood up to begin the task ahead of them.


	3. Chapter 3

Patsy began to unzip one of Delia's suitcases and empty its contents on to the bed in front of her, Delia had nipped out to fetch them a glass of lemonade which allowed for Patsy to have a quick nosey around. It was an odd feeling, seeing all of Delia's stuff laid out in the place that Patsy had called 'home' for numerous years now, almost surreal even. As Delia re-entered the room Patsy let out a long sigh, Delia noticed and called out. "What's wrong cariad?" Delia slid her hands up the top of Patsy's thighs and gripped her hips, Patsy shuddered at the movement and placed her own hands over Delia's. "Nothing sweetheart…I'm just adjusting to you, to you being here." There was a moment of silence before Delia whispered a reply "Patsy…if I make you uncomfortable I can find somewhere else to live?" Patsy turned to face Delia and cupped her face with her hands. "Deels! No, that's not what I meant. I just mean it's hard you being here and me, us, not being able to freely express our feelings for each other. It's going to harder than I thought to keep my emotions in check…" With that Delia turned and pushed the door shut, Patsy followed Delia's every move as she crossed the room to find the key. As Delia locked the door, Patsy couldn't help but feel the wave of heat rise up her neck. Delia turned and leant against the door, Patsy had seen this look on her face before…it was Delia's bedroom face and it made Patsy blush like mad.

Delia stretched a hand out to Patsy and Patsy willing took it, Delia pulled her up against her body and smirked. Patsy's heart began to race and her lower area began to throb, Delia obviously noticed this as slid her hand up Patsy's leg and placed it just above the seem of Patsy's pants on her stomach. Patsy groaned and felt her knees shake, Delia and Patsy hadn't been intimate in almost a year and sharing a room with Trixie meant that the possibility for a bit of alone time was next to none. Delia giggled which made Patsy jokingly glare down at the brunette. Patsy leant down and began to nibble on Delia's neck, something Patsy knew would drive a reaction out of Delia. Patsy was right. She felt Delia's hand tense on her abdomen and heard a small gasp escape Delia's lips. Patsy was quite positive that by now her knickers were soaked and began to move her hands down to take them off, Delia grabbed Patsy's hand and with a grin dropped to her knees.

Patsy felt Delia's hands run up from her ankles to the top of her thighs and grip the waistband of her underwear, slowly Delia pulled them down. Patsy stroked the top of Delia's head as she felt Delia's lip begin to make their way up her inner thigh. Just as Delia reached Patsy's pulsing clit, the door handle into Delia's room rattled. "What on earth?!" came a confused voice from the other side. "Delia…? Can I come in?" the voice echoed. A look of disappointment and panic washed across both Patsy's and Delia's face. Patsy bent over and pulled her knickers back on, straightening her hair and composing herself she looked to Delia to indicate that she was ready.

"Coming! I didn't even realised I'd locked it…" Delia trailed off and she turned the key and pulled open the door. "Delia!" Trixie proclaimed as she pulled her into a tight hug. Delia couldn't help but feel a little bit dirty as the throbbing of her lower area began to subside. Patsy had turned away and was sipping at the lemonade Delia had fetched her earlier, her clit still tingling from the encounter just moments before. Trixie strode over and stood next to Patsy, Patsy could feel Trixie's eyes upon her and turned to face her. "Nurse Mount, you look positively sheepish…what on earth have you two being up to?!" Trixie jibbed.


	4. Chapter 4

"Noth…Nothing" breathed out Patsy, Delia could tell that she was rattled and joined in with Patsy's explanation. "Oh, she just feels bad because she ripped a page of one of my books while she was placing it on the book shelf!" Delia gestured towards a small brown bookcase that stood in the corner of the room. Trixie blinked and then a large grin spread across her face, turning back to a still anxious Patsy she questioned "Oh Patsy, you are so very sensitive about such a little thing…has it been a hard day?" Patsy turned round to face Delia and shook her head at Trixie's question. "No, I'm just tired and annoyed at myself that's all…" Patsy forced a watery smiled and perched on the edge of Delia's bed. Trixie caught Delia's eye, Delia forced out a smile and then joined Patsy.

Delia flopped down onto the bed and declared loudly "I'm absolutely exhausted!" Delia's turning on the bed made Patsy's body jerked causing both her and Trixie to erupt into laughter. "Goodness me Delia, it's like having an elephant in the room" quipped Patsy, which again caused the room to be filled with laughter. Delia shot Patsy and Trixie her best stern face but couldn't contain herself long enough. She was glad that they were all laughing, the atmosphere in the room was no longer tense and Delia knew Patsy would no longer feel like Trixie was aware of their relationship. Patsy had talked to her about it before, saying that she was almost positive that Trixie was aware that their relationship wasn't strictly platonic. Delia didn't actually mind the idea of Trixie knowing, but it wasn't her place to tell her and she knew that Patsy would be absolutely distraught. Delia had always found it harder to lie about the extent of their relationship, much more than Patsy, she felt a lot more trapped than she let on. She wanted at least some people, people that both her and Patsy trusted deeply, to be aware of the love they felt for each other. This was something Delia voiced during her visit at Christmas, and it was something that Patsy had angrily shot down. Delia could still remember the coldness in Patsy's voice when she spoke, but Delia pushed and explained that if Trixie had know about their relationship she could have been more of a support for Patsy during her accident. Patsy had just stood up and walked out the room, leaving Delia there worried that she'd ruined their first proper meeting after her accident.

Delia was pulled back into the room by the sound of her bedroom door shutting, looking up she could see that Trixie was no longer present. Patsy sighed and clutched Delia's hand in her own "That was too close Deels, we're going to have to be more careful" Delia laughed and responded "Pats if were anymore careful then it'll be like we aren't even together!" Patsy didn't laugh, she just shot Delia a sadden look. Delia rose off the bed and walked over to pick up her drink, she was hurt that Patsy didn't respond. Delia slurped at her drink, mulling over what Patsy had just said. Turning to face Patsy, Delia blurted out "So…are we over then? Because theres no point being together if all we get is stolen glances over a game of checkers with Barbra and Trixie." Delia felt the bitterness and spite in her own voice and immediately regretted it when she saw Patsy's face. "I don't know anymore Delia, clearly you're more of an expert at being a queer woman so why don't you tell me?" Patsy stood, waiting for Delia to reply. "Well it's true isn't it Pats? If we can't have any private moments, just the two of us, then we are nothing but just friends. Trixie get's to see more of you than I do, why don't you just go to her for comfort?!" Delia's voice had suddenly become much louder than she intended for it to be, she looked to Patsy for a reaction but there wasn't one. Delia knew that she had gone to far but she couldn't help it, she had to let Patsy know how she was feeling even if that did mean upsetting her. Patsy responded, her voice small and hushed "Right…well I guess you answered you own question then." Patsy picked up her glass and left the room. Delia lent against the chest of draws and allowed the tears that had been building up spill down her cheeks, she couldn't believe what had just happened.


	5. Chapter 5

**(AN)** _I hope that everyone is okay, and enjoying what is being written! This is my first time ever really writing creatively so I'm sorry if it's not as amazing as the other Patelia fanfics available. I struggled with writing chapter 4 so it might be a bit of a let down. Any feedback or reviews would be greatly appreciated! Thank you all for reading what I have written though!_


	6. Chapter 6

**(AN):** **_Hey guys! Sorry this had been so long coming, I've been super busing with Alevels and preparing for exams. I just want to say thank you all so much for the comments after chapter 4, honestly they meant a lot and have really inspired me to keep going. I hope this chapter is okay, it's a little rushed because I'm pushed for time but I wanted to get something out so you don't think I've forgotten about the fic. I hope you enjoy and are having a good Sunday! Thank you!_**

Patsy stumbled towards the bathroom door and shut it behind her, her vision was blurred from the tears that had built up in her eyes. How could Delia have said those things? Her Deels, being so bitter and unloving she couldn't believe it. Patsy slid down the door and collapsed into a heap on the floor. She looked down at the necklace with the ring on it that Delia had given her before her accident and in a moment of anger Patsy yanked it from around her neck. Delia had broken not only her promise to Patsy, but Patsy heart. After Delia had returned from the captivity of Wales and her mother Patsy never imagined that her heart would once again be broken by the small Welsh woman, but how wrong was she. Delia was supposed to be the kind one, the understanding one, the one who didn't lash out, the one who kept her calm and could express her feelings rationally, only tonight she didn't…she lashed out and she broke Patsy's heart. Patsy didn't know how to make things better, that was Delia's job. Delia was Patsy's lifeline. Delia helped Patsy to function. Patsy pulled her knees to her chest and hugged them as the last of her tears fell, she'd been in the bathroom for what seemed an age and thought it best that she reentered the communal living area so it didn't seem suspicious.

Patsy rose off the floor and splashed her face with cold water to reduce the red blotches that were now appearing all over her tear stained face. Patsy picked up the necklace and ring that she'd yanked off early and pushed it into the pocket of her dress. Patsy headed towards her and Trixie's room and hoped that Trixie would be asleep by now, sadly for Patsy she wasn't and neither was Barbra. "Oh goodness, I thought you were going to bed Trixie?" Patsy looked towards Trixie for an answer but Trixie just blew a mouth of smoke in her direction. "Oh, no, I just fancied a game of cards and well seeing as you and Delia obviously had no interest in keeping me company I thought I'd get Barbra on the case." Patsy could sense the hurt in Trixie's voice but said nothing in reply.

Patsy began to remove her dress and get changed for bed, as she lifted the dress above her head the ring and necklace that Delia had given her fell out into the middle of Trixie and Barbra's card game. "What's this Patsy?" Barbra questioned lifting the ring and necklace towards the light. Patsy turned and her stomach churned at the sight of what Barbra was holding. Patsy could feel the tears beginning to form at her eyes again. "Nothing" Patsy choked out as she snatched the ring and necklace out of Barbra's hand. Trixie stared intently at Patsy and seemingly saw the pain she was in. With that she ushered Barbra out the room and turned to Patsy.

Patsy was sat with her back to Trixie turning the ring in her hand, without saying a word Trixie climbed onto Patsy's bed and engulfed Patsy into her arms. It was times like this that Patsy was glad Trixie was her best friend and room mate, she knew exactly what she needed, when to give her space and when to hold her. Tonight was one of the nights where a hug was something Patsy needed. Trixie asked no questions, just sat and held Patsy while she cried and with that the day came to a close.


	7. New Chapter coming soon!

Hi guys,

Sorry it has been a while, life got in the way. After the awful ending of season 6 I thought it may be time to re start writing this. It'll continue on from where chapter 6 left off and completely ignore the fact that Hedi has written Patsy and Delia out.

Speak soon,

Eleanor :) (the writer lol)


	8. Chapter 7 (the NEW chapter)

Delia woke up to the sound of Fred bashing something outside. She rolled over to face the window, where the noise was coming from, and took a deep breath before pushing herself up into a sitting position. For a brief moment, Delia had forgotten about her argument with Patsy last night but the memory soon flashed back into her mind. Delia played over the events of last night in her mind. Had she been too harsh? Or was she only being honest? Shaking her head, she dispelled these thoughts and rose up out of the bed. Picking up her towel, Delia headed towards the bathroom where she hoped for a much-needed relaxing bath.

Delia pushed open the bathroom door, and jumped when she saw the image of Patsy slumped against the side of the bath. Delia began to stutter "Oh…err…sorry I didn't know anyone was in here…" Patsy looked up and acknowledged Delia's existence, slowly Patsy rose off the floor and stumbled her way past Delia without saying a word. Delia's gaze followed Patsy's stooped body across the hall and back into the room Patsy and Trixie shared. Delia push the bathroom door fully open and entered into the pale green room. Locking the door behind her, Delia turned towards the bath and twisted the taps on. Once again, the events of last night washed over her, and she began to whimper. "So…are we over then? Because there's no point being together if all we get is stolen glances over a game of checkers with Barbra and Trixie" played over and over. Delia felt like screaming, how could she have said such a thing? To Patsy of all people! The person she loved, the person she LOVES. Delia plunged her entire body under the water, and laid there until the lack of oxygen rid her brain of the thoughts she was having. Emerging from the water, Delia stood up and grabbed her towel wrapping it round herself.

Having tip toed her way back to her room from the bathroom, Delia had now managed to pull on her nursing uniform and was getting herself ready to head downstairs to the dining hall. With one last final glance in the mirror, Delia traipsed down stairs and seated herself in her usual eating spot. Her eyes flickered over the door frame, which Patsy had just entered through looking rather red around the eyes, and then back to the plate in front of her. Delia hated that her and Patsy hadn't had chance to speak yet, but she knew that the conversation would have to wait until after rounds now.

With that thought, Sister Julienne entered into the room and the pleasantries of breakfast began.


	9. Chapter 8

This is more of a filler chapter tbh, I'm setting up the scene for something big ;)

Patsy was finally free from the horrendous event that was breakfast. She'd spent the entirety of the event holding back tears and pushing food round her plate. Delia had sat across from her, with a solemn expression, also pushing her food round her plate. Trixie had spent breakfast quizzing both Delia and Patsy about their mutual lack of appetite and long faces, which didn't help Patsy feel any better, and Sister Julienne kept chirping on about the rollercoaster of emotions life brings. Patsy had wanted to scream at her that she wasn't just regular old life sad but devastated because the love of her life had essentially left her. After breakfast Patsy has retreated to her room for a couple of minutes to ready herself for the day ahead, her rounds had started at 8:30 and it was now 6 in the evening. Patsy was just finishing up with her last patient when it dawned on her that once she was back at home she would have to face Delia again. Her stomach churned at the thought.

Pushing open the front door, Patsy set down her bag and hung up her coat. Today had been a long day and all Patsy wanted was to get into bed. Patsy began to move up the stairs, as she got to the top she heard someone come through the door. Patsy glanced behind her, it was Delia. She hurried up the rest of the stairs and dived onto her bed.

Patsy walked up to the door and moved to knock on it, stopping just before she made contact. She lingered outside the door, she'd been in Delia's room a thousand times before but this time it was different. Patsy didn't know if she was entering Delia's room as a lover or as a friend, and it was causing her angst. Finally, Patsy picked up the courage to knock on the door…


	10. Chapter 9

Delia was laid on her bed when the tapping at her door began, she was irked that she had to pull herself out of the warm cocoon she had made.

Pulling open the door, Delia pushed out a dejected "hello" looking up she saw the sheepish looking Patsy.

Delia was surprised, Patsy was the last person she expected to see at her door. There was an awkward silence that felt like an eternity before Patsy finally whispered, "I was…err…hoping to come in?", Patsy fiddled with the hem of her skirt, "you know…to err …discuss what has happened..." Patsy voice trailed off.

Delia said nothing but turned into the room opening the door wider.

"Well?" Delia sighed, "Say your peace" Patsy was faced away from Delia looking at the book case in the corner of the room.

It was not long ago, she reminisced, that her and Delia were organising Delia's books when she first moved in and were nearly caught in the throes of passion by Trixie. Patsy's mind flicker back into the room at the sound of her own laughter at the memory, she turned to face Delia.

Delia's first was twisted into a frown as she started Patsy in the eye, "WHAT?" Delia shouted "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU FINDING FUNNY, RIGHT NOW? IN THIS MOMENT?" Delia's eyes had welled with tears and Patsy knew that she had put her foot in it once again.

"Nothing…err...just memories from when you first moved in and Trixie nearly walked in on well you know what" Patsy blushed.

Delia's face softened at the memory for a brief second before another frown etched upon her forehead. "Seriously though Pats, why have you come here?" Delia's voice was soft but emotionless, Patsy hadn't expected this.

Patsy eyes met Delia's and then dropped back to the ground, she moved from by the book case over to Delia's bed. Sitting down Patsy's voice quivered and she let out an "I love you"

Delia turned to face Patsy "And I love you cariad, but that was never the issue, was it?" Delia's voice was quiet and Patsy knew the Welsh nurse was on the verge of tears.

Delia studied Patsy's face, she had seen her lover look sad and downbeat before but she had never been the cause of the look. It was hard to read Patsy sometimes, she was very good at bravado, perhaps due to the war or maybe it was just because of how guarded she had to be about her love life; either way this usually made it all the more difficult to gage Patsy's real feelings. Not this time though, Delia could see every inch of pain in the lines forming across Patsy's forehead.

"Cariad, what are we doing here? I love you, you love me, but we don't seem to be moving forward in anyway. We're stuck in a convent for God's sake!" Delia threw her arms up in dismay.

Patsy knew she was right, they were stagnating. Their relationship had progressed no further than dates and stolen moments. Teenagers' relationships had developed further than hers and Delia's had, they had never even shared a hotel room together. Patsy opened her mouth but no words came out.

"I think the silence says it all" said Delia as she turned to look out of the window. "I will always hold you dear Pats, but maybe we've come to the end of our fantasy?" Delia looked dejected, but shed no tear.

The sound around Patsy blurred, she had come into Delia's room expecting to leave with the safe knowledge her and Delia were okay. That they were going to survive this. Now she just felt like they were finalising their break up. Patsy rose from Delia's bed, bending over she placed a peck upon Delia's cheek and muttered "I will always be here Deels, waiting for you, if ever you miss me do not be afraid to search me out" and with that Patsy left Delia's room.


End file.
